


Love Will Tear Us Apart

by overagain



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Crying, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Riding, Weed Smoking, it's not like SMUT but well, kind of smut idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 02:13:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1039105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overagain/pseuds/overagain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis loves Harry, but he likes to kiss other boys a lot. When things happen between him and Zayn, his friend makes him choose. And, let's be honest, love always speaks louder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Will Tear Us Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, guys!  
> Well, this is my first fanfic everrrr, so i'd like to know if you like it!  
>  **English is not my first language so PLEASE if you see any mistake, tell me! It'd help a lot!**  
>  The title is a Joy Division song, and there are parts of the song during the work. :)  
> I hope you enjoy it, byeeee.

10 past 5. It was cold and everyone decided to go to Zayn’s house and have some hot chocolate. He’s too lazy to cook and can’t do it very well, but his chocolate is the best one in the world, they boys swear. 

Niall was the first one to arrive. He took off his shoes and his jacket because it was nicely warm inside. He run to hug Zayn and yelled: 

“HELLO, MATE! HOW ARE YOU FEELING? You look just as sexy as yesterday.” Zayn couldn’t keep his laugh. 

“Thanks, huh. But at least you know!” Right after saying it, he remembered the time he said it to a fan. Good times, good times, he thought to himself. 

“Is the hot chocolate done yet? Can’t wait anymore! It was way too cold outside.” Niall spoke as he fell on the couch and got wrapped on the blankets. Zayn was already on the kitchen to finish what he was doing. He opened the cabinet and looked for the Oreo pack and walked toward the couch. 

“Nope, I think we should wait for the boys. Here, have some of this. I know they’re your favorites.” He said and gave Niall the pack. 

“Whoaaaa, thank you! You know, that’s why I love coming to your house, you always have amazing food.” Niall was smiling really big. If you want to make him look like a 3 years old, just give him food. He opened the pack and when he put the first biscuit on his mouth, he heard the door bell ringing. Zayn walked to the door and stopped when Niall suddenly got up and kind of danced to catch Zayn’s attention. 

“What?!” He said, almost whispering. 

“Harry and Louis had a fight. Don’t say anything, don’t try to make them feel comfortable with each other, just….let them do what they want to. Let them do _anything_ they want to.” Niall gave emphasis on “anything” and looked worried. Zayn didn’t know what he meant, but nodded. 

Niall run back to the couch so the boys wouldn’t know he told Zayn about Harry and Louis and eat his Oreos. Zayn opened the door and Liam hugged him. 

“Hello, hello, how’s the chocolate going? Did Niall drink everything already?” 

“Hey! I heard my name!” Niall yelled.

“Nah, we were waiting for you, mates, come on, get in, it’s cold.” Zayn took a step back so the three could enter the house. Liam noticed how comfortable his friend’s room looked. The radio, like usual, was on and was playing a Joy Division album. The couch was full of blankets and pillows in every color you could think of. The walls had spray all over it and you could smell chocolate on the air. With a bit of smoke. 

Zayn noticed the bangs under Harry’s and Louis’ eyes. He was close enough to them to know that they’ve been crying and not sleeping for a few nights. Both of them were shy and didn’t say much more than “hi” with a friendly smile. Harry looked hopeless. Completely hopeless. 

They walked to the couch and Liam sat on Niall’s left side so he could put his friend’s head on his lap. Louis sat on the big red armchair and Harry followed Zayn to the kitchen, but he didn’t notice he had a new shadow.

“Hey, you guys want the drink now? Or is there something you want before having it?” Zayn asked, almost yelling, so his friends could hear him. 

“I’d like a cig, please.” Zayn heard a whisper and nearly left the five mugs he just got fall on the ground.

“Shit, what the hell….Harry?! Are you trying to scare the shit out of me?” Zayn said. He was really scared for a moment. 

“I…um, I am sorry, but..um, please, can I have one?” Harry looked nervous. He hasn’t made any eye contact with Zayn since he arrived the house.

“Look at me. There’s nothing so interesting on the ground.” He took Harry’s chin and made him look up. “Great. What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing.” Zayn made an angry and, at the same time, worried face. 

“You don’t smoke. What happened?” Harry closed his eyes when he heard “smoke” and then opened again. He used to be so… not into it. He never wanted to smoke. Never. But something happened and he kind of felt the need to have a cigarette. 

“I-I…um…I don’t k-know, okay. I just really want one.” 

Zayn was gonna take a sit next to his friend but then he heard Niall’s voice: 

“ZAYN! We want the hot chocolate! Today! Hurry up!” And he looked at Harry. His expression was kind and meant that Zayn could leave for a moment and talk to him later. So he did. 

He got the hot drink and put on three mugs and left. He walked carefully till the couch. 

“Here is it. Niall…Liam….Louis.” He said as he gave the boys their mugs. Liam’s and Niall’s were black with white stripes on it and Louis’ was blue. 

“Thanks.” Said Louis really low. Which is really weird, Zayn thought, because Louis is always really loud.

“We need to talk.” Zayn said, touched Louis’ soft hair and left. 

Back to the kitchen, he sat in front of Harry, took the last two mugs and put hot chocolate on them. He gave the blue one to Harry and kept the black and white to himself. It was an old and useless thing, but since 2010, when they used to date, Zayn and the rest of the boys would always let them have the exactly same mug.

Zayn got the cigarette that was on the table with the lighter and gave to Harry, who had a confused face.

“Go ahead. Light it up.” Harry didn’t move. He looked to the two small objects, then to Zayn and back to the ground. 

“I knew you didn’t want to.” 

Both of them were quiet. So quiet that they could hear the laughs that were coming from the living room. His laugh. 

“Tell me.” Zayn said. 

“What?”

“What happened.”

“You know it already.” 

“I’m pretty sure I don’t.” 

“I’m pretty sure Niall told you when he got up and danced like crazy, right before running back to the couch.” 

“Oh…I guess he forgot I have a big window.”

“Yeah…” Harry looked down again. He heard Louis’ laugh again and got up. He was about to cry when he felt Zayn’s hand holding his right wrist. They hugged. It was a protective hug, really thigh. Harry couldn’t keep himself so he let the tears fall. 

“Oh, sweetheart, don’t cry…I hate seeing you cry. It breaks my heart.” Zayn said and held him tighter, even if it wasn’t possible. 

“I a-am sorry….” Harry said. “You don’t need to, like, take care of me, h-huh, just…I don’t know, the bo-oys must be looking for you…” 

“Shhh….” And they kept cuddling till Harry took a step back. He wiped his eyes and said “thank you”, which was more than enough for Zayn.

Harry went to the toilet and Zayn to the room with the boys. 

“Is everything alright, Z?” Liam asked.

“Yeah, huh, I was just having a talk with Harry. Any of you want more hot chocolate?” Zayn asked to avoid the questions. He really didn’t want to talk about it in front of Louis. 

“You know everyone does, you shouldn’t have asked.” Louis said. Something told Zayn that he was acting normal now, or at least trying to. 

Zayn went back to the kitchen to get the drink and when he got back Harry was already there, sitting next to Niall. Red eyes, everyone could tell he’s been crying. Louis was looking at him and noticing every little piece of him. He kept moving his hands and legs, like he wanted to do something but didn’t know exactly what. 

They stayed like that for about an hour. Doing nothing much, just listening to music and talking. Everyone could feel the tension between Louis and Harry, because they just wouldn’t talk to each other. 

“Well, I guess it’s getting too late and I’ve got a few things to do…” 

“Heh, I’ll go with you Liam, if you don’t mind.” Niall said and got up after Liam. Harry watched them, looked at Louis and Zayn and did the same. 

“Hey Harry, are you going with us too?” Liam asked nicely. 

“Yeah, if it’s not a problem.” He said almost shy. 

“’Course not. Come on, let’s go.” 

The three of them left without saying anything. And they didn’t feel bad because they knew it’d be awkward. 

But Louis was still there. 

“Hey.” Zayn said after closing the door and going back to the couch. Louis got up and sat next to him. “Do you wanna tell me what happened between Harry and you?” Zayn was a bit harder with Louis because he wasn’t that sensitive. 

“We had a fight.” Louis said with no emotion. Zayn noticed that Louis was staring at his lips, and he couldn’t just ignore it. 

“Yeah, I guess it’s obvious. But why?” 

“He thinks I’ve cheated on him. But we aren’t dating, so I guess there’s no such thing as cheating.” Louis sounded defensive. He is always right. And that’s all. 

“I kind of agree. But you love each other and every time you’re together, something happens. You have a thing, yes, but it’s not “official”. You know what I mean? Harry may think differently because you KNOW how much he loves you, and how much you mean to him.” Zayn was serious. He knew it was kind of pointless because no one can change Louis’ mind. 

But Louis, for a moment, stayed quiet. And seemed to be thinking about what Zayn just said. 

“Okay.” He said and got up. He was looking for something. 

“Okay? Is okay everything you have to say?” He stopped and looked at Louis, who nodded. He noticed the joint on Louis’ hands. He got up, too, and walked to the kitchen. He got the lighter and said to him: “Is this what you’re looking for?”

“Yes, give me, please.” Zayn threw the lighter to him and watched as Louis lighted it up and put it into his mouth, swallowing for the first time. His face was priceless. He enjoyed smoking just as much as Zayn. 

Louis gave the joint to Zayn so he could smoke too. _Love, love will tear us apart, again_ …The radio was still on. “That sensation. It’s all about how you feel.” 

Louis smiled and sat next to Zayn. Zayn swallowed again and put his left hand on the back of Louis’ neck. He came closer, and closed his eyes. Zayn started to exhale and Louis just opened his mouth and took a breathe, letting the smoke get into his mouth, nose, veins, brain…. _And there's taste in my mouth, as desperation takes hold…._

They stayed close like that for a moment, keeping the eye contact. Zayn looked at Louis lips and something hit his head hard. Guilt. 

“I..I am sorry. I didn’t mean it.” He said and swallowed another drag. He turned to the left and let his head fall on the back of the couch. He exhaled with his eyes shut. It was an amazing feel, yeah, it was. 

Louis couldn’t take his eyes out of Zayn. It was his hair, his jaw line, his neck, the way he inhales and exhales… He didn’t know, but something about him was attractive. Really attractive. 

_And we're changing our ways, taking different roads_ … In a fast movement, he got closer to Zayn and put both hands on his face. Zayn was surprised, but not enough to let him go. 

“Don’t think about it.” Louis said, swallowed for the last time, exhaled on Zayn’s mouth and…pressed their lips together.  
Lust. Their tongues were moving fast. Lust. Zayn’s head was going insane. Pleasure. Louis, in a moment of insanity, put his legs around Zayn’s hips and sat on Zayn’s lap. Fuck. “Stop”. Louis started to move. Lust. Zayn was feeling guilty but he didn’t have control anymore. Pleasure. Weed. Kiss. Tongue. Zayn put his hands on Louis’ hips and made him move. Louis bit Zayn’s bottom lip and made his way to the other boy’s jaw line. Fucking lust. Moan. “Lo-ouis…”. Kiss on the jaw line. On the neck. On the collar bones. Moans. Lust. Louis was moving fast and both of them had a hard-on. Weed. Louis lighted another one. Swallow. Kiss. Swallow. Kiss on Louis’ neck. “It is what it is”. 

“Stop.” Zayn broke the kiss. 

“What? No, no, come here” Louis tried to kiss him again, biting his bottom lip but Zayn pulled him away. “Fuck off!” He said as he sat on the couch beside Zayn. 

“You fucking got me stoned so you could make me do whatever you wanted me to do.” Zayn seemed to be back to reality. “I get what Harry meant. And I totally agree with him. You’re such a dick.” He got up and went to the kitchen. He got a glass of water and drank it very slowly.

“Zayn….Zayn, I am sorry. I really am. I’m just….completely lost. I don’t know what to do.” And that time, Louis was the one that looked hopeless. Zayn took a sit and Louis did the same. He was crying. 

“You know what? You two are right. I am a dick. Everything I do is wrong. And I don’t care. I mean, I care about you, and Harry, and the other boys, but… I really wanted to kiss you, so I did. And I didn’t feel bad. But I do now, because you’re somehow hurt, and Harry will be too. But I don’t see how it could be possibly different, you get it? That’s who I am. I can’t change it.” And Zayn looked very understanding, but that wasn’t alright. 

“Louis... You need to choose what you want. Since your “boyfriend” doesn’t want an open relationship, you need to know if you want to be with him, or with everyone else.” 

“It looks like you always know what to say.” Louis was upset. 

“I’m very smart, you know. Spending too much time alone and observing people made me know a few things about humans. But now, listen to me. You will go upstairs, take a bath, get your pajamas and you will come back to tell me what’s your choice. Okay?” Zayn reached out his hand to hold Louis’ tiny ones on his and gave him a comforting look. 

“Okay… Thank you. You’re great.” 

“I try.” And Louis left the kitchen and went upstairs. 

** 

After taking his bath, Louis went downstairs and looked for Zayn, but he wasn’t there, so he decided to eat some cereals to have a little more time to think. It was really hard for him, because he’s not that kind of person who makes decisions. He just does what he wants to. But he really loves Harry and doesn’t want to see him hurt anymore. His mind was a mess. 

“Louis, I’m in my bedroom, yeah? Meet me here.” 

“Alright.” Louis did the dishes and went upstairs slowly. He had a headache and really hoped that Zayn wasn’t listening to music.  
“Hey, mate, come in.” Zayn said opening his arms. Louis sat on the middle of the bed, staring at Zayn, with legs crossed. He looked sweet, and shorter, with his grey sweatpants, white t-shirt and messy hair. Louis is the kind of guy that you’d like babysit and cuddle in forever, even though he’s almost 22 years old. “So, what have you decided?” Zayn was curious, but his voice sounded very smooth. 

“I..I don’t know.” Louis’ voice was trembling. “I need more time to think.” 

“But you’re going to talk to Harry tomorrow. We’re having lunch together.” Zayn rolled on the bed to reach his mobile that was on the opposite side. He unlocked and gave it to Louis. “Look. He wants to see you. He misses you.” Zayn said kindly.  
Louis was, for a moment, touched. Zayn could tell by the way he moved his fingertips on the sheets, drawing little circles. He sighed and looked at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears from falling. 

“It’s funny, you know. It’s fucking funny how much power that asshole has over me and my feelings.” Louis said with a sarcastic smile. He was laughing but it wasn’t because it was funny. It was tragic. 

“That’s because you love him. You’ve loved since you met him. But you don’t want to admit it to yourself.” 

“Yeah.” The smile started to fade away and turned into a sigh. And then, tears. Zayn was quiet and Louis much appreciated it. That’s one of the best things about being friends with him.

Past a few minutes, Louis broke the silence:

“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” Zayn wiped Louis’ tears, running his soft fingers along Louis’ cheekbones. 

“Shh, you don’t need to say anything, okay? It’s fine. Now, since I think you’ve made your decision, let’s sleep.” Louis nodded and laid down on the bed, covering himself with the sheets and blankets. Zayn came closer to him and let his fingers get lost on his friend’s hair. Zayn is very caring and Louis loves it, because he’s always the only one who notices that everything Louis needs is care and attention. 

“Zayn… How about you? Don’t you think Harry is gonna be mad at you?” It was almost a whisper. Zayn barely heard what he said.

“I don’t know… We will find out tomorrow, yeah?” Zayn tried to sound confident, but, honestly… He knew he was fucked up. 

“Yeah… Night.” Louis sighed for the last time and fell asleep. 

“Night, honey.” 

** 

Louis woke up and rubbed his eyes. He was alone so he stood up and went straight to the bathroom. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and wondered what he was gonna tell Harry. The truth? Maybe. 

After doing everything he needed to do in the bathroom, he left and changed clothes. 

“Za…” He started calling while going downstairs but stopped because he heard voices. Zayn was talking to someone and he knew that deep and raspy voice so well to be wrong about whom it was. 

“… But that’s problematic! I can’t, Zayn, I thought…I thought you wanted to help me, I…I can’t believe it.” He sounded completely devastated. 

“I know, mate, I know, but it wasn’t my fault. I swear, when I noticed what was happening, I stopped, you gotta trust me!” Zayn’s voice was trembling. He was nervous. “… At least try, okay?” Louis couldn’t hear everything he said because it was almost a whisper. 

“… Our friendship… I love him…” 

“I know… He does love you too… Forget everything, okay...”

“…. I won’t... No, please… Leave me alone” It just didn’t make sense anymore so Louis thought it was time to show up.  
“Hey… I’m sorry; I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.” He tried to sound convincing, like “Hey, mates, I wasn’t listening to your conversation, huh, but can I join now?” 

Zayn looked at him and it was like he knew all the truth because, well, he’s Zayn. Then, he looked at Harry and his heart broke in a thousand pieces. He still had bangs under his eyes and now they were deeper and darker. He wanted to kiss him so badly and tell him he was sorry but he just _couldn’t._

“Hi.” Harry said and his voice was broken. Just like his heart. Louis noticed the clothes he was wearing: the old but gold red flannel, ripped jeans, boots and messy hair. Very messy hair. 

After all, Harry. 

“Hi... um…so…” Louis was nervous so Zayn helped him. 

“The lunch is almost done. You woke up a little bit late, bro.” 

“I apologize, master.” 

“It’s fine. Could you get the plates and cups, please?” So Louis did. When he put Harry’s plate on the table, he noticed how he didn’t make eye contact with him. 

“I love you.” He muttered to Harry and bit his bottom lip. Fuck, he loved that boy a lot. Zayn was watching that scene but decided to just keep quiet and wait till Louis notice. 

“Sooooo… What are we having for lunch? I am hungry.” Louis said. 

“Pizza. What did you expect? I can’t cook.” Zayn said laughing. 

“You desperately need to learn.” 

“I know.” 

They ate quietly. It was awkward. Harry and Louis kept looking at each other but didn’t say anything. 

“Dessert?” Zayn offered. 

“No, thank you.” They replied together. 

“Guys… I’m done. You need to talk. Alone. I’ll go upstairs and you will get that shit solved. I don’t care how much time you need, just don’t kill each other, that’s my house and I’d get blamed.” Zayn said as he got up and disappeared. 

“Whoa…” Harry said. Louis melted for complete now. His voice was like a sweet and hurtful melody. 

“Harry.” He realized his voice was really weak. 

“Yeah?” He finally looked into Louis’ blue eyes. If he needed to choose a color to see for the rest of his life, it would be the color of Louis’ eyes. No second thought. 

“Harry… I-I…Fuck, it was all my fault and you don’t even need to agree because I know it was. And I feel so fucking bad. Harry, I-I…I am… I love you, okay. I love you so fucking much; I can’t stand seeing you so upset like you are right now. And it kills me to know that it was because of ME!...” He stopped for a moment and sat on the other chair, in front of Harry. “I’ve made my choice. And I don’t want to fool around with anybody else but you. Well… Since I’m being all honest now, eh, I want to, but you’re more important.” Harry giggled. It was funny how honest Louis was being. 

Louis stroked Harry’s cheekbones smoothly. Harry closed his eyes and felt shivers going down his spine. Louis smiled. 

“Baby… I am sorry.” Harry’s eyes were wide open now. Louis never apologizes. Never.

“I don’t even know why I love you that much, but I just do. And I just can’t ignore my feelings. You are everything I could ask for. But, Louis, you made me feel so, so, bad. So… worthless. Like I wasn’t good enough for you, so you needed somebody else to be happy. It hurts me. Right here.” And he placed his right hand on his chest, where his heart is. Louis put his left hand on the top of Harry’s, fitting his fingers in the gaps between Harry’s fingers. He could feel the boy’s heart beating really fast. 

Louis got up and stared down at Harry. 

“I love your eyes. I love your nose. I love your cheeks. I love your chin. And most important, I love your mouth.” Louis said, pressing little kisses on Harry’s face, but stopping before pressing their lips together. “And I want you to know that, no matter what happens, I want to be with you, and only you, for the rest of my life.” He said very close to Harry. They stayed like that for a moment and, when Harry nodded, Louis kissed him. 

It was like their first kiss. Sweet, slow. No hurry. No tongue at the beginning. Only knowing their mouths were touching was enough. Harry felt butterflies in his stomach. It’s Louis. It’s always Louis. 

They only stopped when air was really necessary. Louis then pecked Harry’s lips and smiled. 

“Come on, let’s go to the couch, baby cakes.” 

“Course, sweetcheeks.” Harry got up and followed him. While they walked, Harry put his hands on Louis’ shoulders and massaged him. The size difference was big and it was adorable. Louis let out a little moan and turned his head to the side, letting Harry kiss his neck. 

They sat on the couch and stayed quiet for a while. It was comforting. Louis was lying on Harry’s chest breathing slow, feeling really glad to be on his love’s arms again. 

“Baby… I think we should call Zayn.” Harry nodded.

** 

“Oh my God, finally!” Zayn said and hugged his mates. “I was exhausted. Comforting both of you is hard, man.” He was smiling. He loved seeing his friends happy; it’s one of the best feelings in the world. 

“You’re baked, mate!” Harry said, laughing at him. 

“What did you expect me to do while you guys were getting your shit together? Honestly.” Both of them knew Zayn was right.  
“Okay, okay. I’ll call the boys. We’re partying tonight!” Zayn said.

“If by partying you meant watch TV while eating shitty food and smoking a few joints, I’m in.” Louis sounded just as funny as usual. It’s Harry. It’s always Harry. 

“Hell yeah, that’s it. Come on!”


End file.
